Seymour doesn’t like to be held but he sleeps with me. A tiny little furnace that sleeps in the pool in the blanket between my thighs.
I’ve been tossing and turning for three hours and he’s slept through all of it.
And then purred happily as I sat here petting him.
Then went back to sleep to me quietly crying.

Life would be so much worse without animals.

I can’t sleep.

I’ve been doing a pretty good job of holding it together lately.  Now I am having some trouble again. 

Nothing is ever really good anymore.  It’s tolerable or it’s very bad. 

I don’t have a ride to the airport in October.  It’s seems a silly thing to be stressed over but I’m having trouble getting all my shit together in general and then not having a ride just makes me painfully aware of how alone I am. 
And I have to return that dress but Modcloth is a fucking pain in the ass and they don’t include a return slip in the package you have to fucking print it out and I don’t have a printer and I am having one of those anxious periods were I am having trouble leaving the house for anything but work.  And I’m tired.  But I have to print out the fucking return to mail the fucking dress back and wait for them to fucking process the return and refund me the money so maybe I can buy another fucking dress and hope it is delivered before I have to go to the wedding. 

Everything takes time and I am running out of time and I am anxious for all the socializing I have to do in October.

I feel empty.  I’ve been wanting to sleep a lot.  Work is becoming harder to get up for. 
I am afraid of winter coming and the driving and always being cold. 

I keep fighting this urge to give up.  Some part of me keeps promising that things will get better.  But I am more and more seeing that this is not so much situational as it is a character flaw.  Nothing I do matters and I am without worth or purpose.  It makes it very hard to get out of bed in the morning. 

Three dimensional models for Lady and the Tramp (x)

(via pollums)


(via tacoface)


aliens don’t wanna hang out with us because we’re embarrassing and also still capitalist

(via smorescake)

White men make up approximately 36% of the population, but commit 75% of mass shootings. What would be called terrorism by any other skin tone is suddenly some mysterious unnamed disease. We as a society are perfectly happy to further stigmatize mentally ill people, who are far more likely to be victims of violence than commit violence, in the service of protecting white supremacy and male entitlement.